Web Hosting Dedicated Hosting

Recommend a web hosting service with sysadmins that will do anything your little heart desires?

Specifically, what I'd like to find in a professional web-hosting service: 0. Unix 1. Mathematica, perl, lisp, scheme, ruby 2. server-side includes for *.html 3. ssh access (including rsync) 4. procmail and pine 5. should look like it's any domain you own (in my case, yootles.com) 6. should be able to handle a slashdotting (and should have ads that turn on when a bandwidth threshold is hit so that as it requires more bandwidth it pays for itself) 7. ideally no downtime ever 8. a program running on the host that has a phone number and can receive text messages and process them

Public Comments

1. http://www.daylon.com/hosting/ site compares the 2 best hosts I've ever seen. (I'm currently with Midphase)
2. I don't know but I think you're kinda cute lol I just wanted to tell you haha